The Real Secret to a Longer, Happier Life? It Might Be Your Best Friend.

That’s me in the photo above—with my best friend and college roommate from Stanford. We’ve been through it all together: from late-night study sessions and dorm room heart-to-hearts, to cross-country moves, marriages, and motherhood. Even when we weren’t living nearby, our bond never wavered. She’s been the kind of friend who really gets me—someone who shows up, listens deeply, and reminds me who I am...the kind of grounding presence that’s rare and so needed in our ever-changing lives. A true unicorn :)

And it got me thinking. 

We talk a lot about food as medicine, movement as medicine, sleep as medicine, and stress-free living as medicine and it’s true, all of these matter deeply. But this weekend, I want to zoom out and talk about something that rarely makes the wellness headlines but absolutely should:
Connection as medicine. 

Human connection is not a luxury, it’s a biological need. And not just for mood, but for longevity. 

A decades-long study from Harvard—The Harvard Study of Adult Development—found that good relationships are the strongest predictor of long, healthy lives. Not wealth. Not fame. Not even cholesterol levels. What mattered most was feeling truly connected to others. Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed.

The findings are clear: 

• People with strong social ties lived longer, had less chronic disease, and reported greater life satisfaction. 
• Connection supports the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin...those mood-boosting, anti-inflammatory neurotransmitters that help us feel calm, safe, and even more focused. 
• Deep, authentic friendships help us see new perspectives, stay emotionally regulated, and even achieve more in our work and purpose-driven lives. 

And here's the kicker, you don’t need hundreds of friends. Just a few real ones. People who: 

• Make you feel seen and accepted 
• Challenge and support your growth 
• Can sit with you in silence and celebrate you in joy 

These friendships are protective. They’re healing. They’re literally life-extending. 

But here’s what’s just as important: 

In the same way we limit processed foods or reduce screen time for better sleep, we need to set boundaries around relationships that drain our energy. Toxic relationships—those where we feel small, misunderstood, or unsafe—can be as harmful as skipping your greens or sitting too long. They elevate stress hormones like cortisol and chip away at our mental resilience. Over time, they’re like micro-doses of emotional inflammation. 

Of course, we can't always eliminate these connections entirely. But we can: 

• Reduce exposure 
• Set clear emotional boundaries 
• Prioritize recovery after interactions 
• And most importantly, nurture the life-giving relationships that make us feel grounded, energized, and joyful 

This weekend, consider reaching out to a friend who lifts you up. Not for a big plan. Just a little moment. A text. A walk. A shared laugh. It's good for your heart in more ways than one. 

Because in this world of “more, faster, better”, nothing replaces being truly seen and loved for exactly who you are. 

Dr. Solmaz