When I was about to give birth to my second child, I had decided I wanted the option of an epidural for pain relief. I was at a major Boston teaching hospital, one of the best in the country, and was reassured that there was “plenty of time” to request it. I trusted the team and waited, as encouraged.

But when I was finally ready, and more than ready, things changed. I asked for the epidural, and the nurses paged the anesthesiologist again and again. Each time, the answer was the same: the doctor was busy with other patients. I was told to keep waiting.

As a physician, I was better equipped than most to advocate for myself, but even I had to take a backseat and keep asking for something that should have been presented and prioritized. By the time the anesthesiologist finally arrived, my labor was intense and the relief came very, very late.

That day stays with me because it’s not an isolated story. It’s part of a much bigger problem.

A recent wave of headlines about Tylenol use in pregnancy has been hard to miss. Some articles have suggested that taking acetaminophen (Tylenol) during pregnancy could be linked to autism, despite the fact that no causal relationship has ever been proven in the scientific literature. What worries me most isn’t just the misleading way this story is being presented. It’s the familiar and dangerous message underneath it: women should just tolerate pain.

Whether it’s a painful biopsy, a musculoskeletal injury, or the most extreme example, childbirth, women’s pain is too often dismissed, under-treated, or brushed aside. Instead of being offered evidence-based relief, we’re told to “tough it out,” while vague, unproven fears are amplified.

And it’s not just about treatment, it’s about choice. Too often, women are not even presented with all of their options to make an informed decision. In labor, for example, few are told that an epidural can fail and what the next steps would be if that happens.

True empowerment means knowing all the possibilities, so you can decide what’s right for you.

Pain is not a test of character. Fever is not something to “ride out” without care. Both carry real, immediate risks to mother and baby.

My goal in sharing this is not to tell anyone to take medication unnecessarily; caution is absolutely appropriate during pregnancy. But if you are in pain you cannot tolerate, or you have a fever, you should never feel like you have to suffer in silence.

As women, we have been subjected to different standards for too long. It is critical that we continue to educate, empower, and advocate, for ourselves and for each other, so that our health, both mental and physical, is taken seriously.

You deserve to be heard.
You deserve relief.
You deserve care that respects you.

Dr. Solmaz